- An appeal to put Christ at the centre of the work of newly trained Marriage Facilitators and Marriage Counsellors
Homily
The word graduation and graduate comes from the Latin word for step – ‘gradus’ – indicating different moments, different steps in the undergraduates path or journey. Latin was the language of scholars in the twelfth century when the earliest ceremonies of graduation took place. Indeed shortly in our Conferral Ceremony we will observe the ancient tradition of announcing the Conferral of Awards once again in that rich classical tongue.
Liam Lawton, some years ago, honoured the Presentation Sisters with a beautiful composition entitled ‘Who will light the Lantern?’ The chorus goes:
Who will search the darkness where shadows seek the light?
Who will find the courage to sing a different song?
Who will light the lantern and go one step beyond?”
Today we celebrate eighteen graduates in Marriage Facilitation, and four in Counselling, who have freely chosen to go one step beyond. One step to ensure young couples have a more fulfilling experience of sacramental marriage preparation. One step to ensure a couple’s relationship gets the support needed when things become cold and calculating.
Job repents in our first reading and, on this the feast of the Polish nun Saint Faustina, that message of mercy is richly rewarded. Job had been through his wars and lost everything, but is rewarded for remaining steadfast in his faithfulness to God. Sometimes his tongue let him down and he said more than he needed to; often his friends cajoled him into a state of resignation. But in today’s text he is honoured and blessed. His new fortune is even more than all he ever lost.
I love the listing of that bounty: “fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, a thousand yoke of oxen and a thousand she-donkeys.”[1] We might find the concentration on material possessions that bit crude or vulgar but, in fact, it was simply a replenishing of God’s blessing on a man who suffered the loss of everything, including family and friends. It reminds us all of the need in life to remain open to God’s blessing.
The greatest blessings any of us receive in life are never going to be sheep, camels, oxen or even she-donkeys, but the gift of one another in friendship. A word Pope Francis uses often in his seminal exhortation Amoris Laetitia, On Love in the Family is that word “accompaniment.” We are there, as counsellors, to accompany the broken, the fragile, the wounded and to do so non-judgementally, because none of us have it all together, but we have enough to offer hope and a recognition of the pain brokenness brings. A pain that Job very much experienced in his life.
Accord Marriage Facilitators
We are there as Marriage Facilitators to accompany couples on their programme of preparation. The new programme, launched at the beginning of this year, is grounded in the practical lived experience of married couples as they navigate life’s opportunities as well as its challenges. Testimonials shared by couples who recently completed their programme indicate how much they felt that they have gained from the course, such as a chance to discuss conflict, communication, and other topics they normally wouldn’t talk about. They understood sacrament for the first time.
The contribution of dedicated facilitators to the Marriage Preparation service of Accord is colossal. The programme of preparation offered by Accord is not about the facilitators who deliver it, but about facilitating a confidential space where couples have the opportunity to have a closer look at their own unique relationship and spend facilitated time together identifying, and discussing, the strengths that they have as well as the areas in their relationship that need developing.
Accord Marriage Counsellors
The contribution of counsellors to the mission of Accord is immense. The four who graduate today are existing counsellors who completed the Certificate in Counselling. The four have demonstrated a commitment to their ongoing development as counsellors keeping abreast of the complexity of working with couples needing support and expertise to sustain their relationships and family life.
The seventy-two come back rejoicing in the gospel, Jesus gently contains their excitement, reminding them of the importance “that your names are written in heaven.”[2] We begin the first step of your Accord Graduation Day with Mass invoking God’s blessing and reminding you of everything that is important. Later we will have the Conferral of Awards and then enjoy opportunities for photographs and refreshments. But we begin with the Mass, putting Christ at the centre of our work both as facilitator, and as counsellor.
Having launched our new Marriage Preparation Programme last January; having undergone our training and development in counselling and in marriage facilitation, let us always remember to put Christ at the heart of our work. He is the space where the two rings of our new shared logo intersect.
May He always be at the heart of your work as you become members of centres like Armagh, Ballymena, Cavan, Cloyne, Derry, Ennis, Newbridge, Omagh, Thurles, Waterford, Killarney, Navan, Sligo and Central Office in Maynooth. I have no doubt you will be made very welcome in those centres, some of which have struggled to provide courses or counselling since the pandemic.
I encourage each of you – as you step into your centre – to fully immerse yourself there as it is only then you will fully appreciate the mission and ministry that is the work of Accord in bringing God’s healing, unconditional love, and mercy, to every couple and into every circumstance of your work, of your mission, of your ministry.
ENDS
Notes for Editors
- This homily was delivered during Mass celebrated by Bishop Denis Nulty, on 5 October, in the historic College Chapel of Saint Patrick’s College, Maynooth. Bishop Nulty is Bishop of Kildare & Leighlin and President of Accord CLG. Mass was attended by graduates and their families as well as by the Executive Directors of Accord CLG, Tony Shanahan; and of Accord NI CLG, Deirdre O’Rawe.
- Eighteen Marriage Facilitators graduated to work in thirteen centres both in Accord CLG and Accord NI CLG.
- Four Marriage Counsellors upskilled with the Certificate in Counselling to work in three centres in Accord CLG.
- Dr Jessie Rogers, Director of the Centre for Mission & Ministry in Saint Patrick’s Pontifical University, conferred the awards on the graduates.
